All posts by Oscar C.

Dating Tips

5 Tips To Have A Good First Date

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For a lot of us geeks and nerds it can be nerve raking talking to girls.  Asking a girl out on a date even worse.  However, if we are able to muster the courage to actually ask somebody out we have to stay out of our own way just so we don’t screw it up.    Here are 5 tips to help you in your journey and challenge of that first date.

 

  1. Ask questions: If you aren’t 100% familiar with your date and are nervous.  Ask questions.  This solves two issues.  You will find out more and more about your date and can lead to even more topics and you avoid that dreaded awkward silence.  Now you don’t want to fire one question after another.  Truly listen and be interested in learning about them.  Oh, don’t mess with political or religious questions because things could get ugly.

 

  1. Don’t try so hard: So many times we make the mistake of trying to make everything perfect. Trying to be charming and funny and deep.  Don’t! Be the best version of you that you can be but at the end of the day you still need to be you.  After all if it does work out they’ll find out eventually.

 

  1. Have Fun: Enjoy yourself and relax.  If you think of worst case scenario the date goes bad and you don’t go out again.  Who cares.  The point of those first dates is trying to find that person you fit with.  I know we can get down when it doesn’t go well but at the end of the day you have to keep meeting girls and keep asking them out to find that good match that you’d like to continue to see.  So while on these dates enjoy yourself.  Go to places that you enjoy going to.  Doesn’t have to be dinner.  Sport events like baseball are great because you can hang out.  However if the game is long and date is bad you may need to click the eject button before the 7th inning stretch.

 

  1. Know when to leave: This goes for good and bad dates.  If you are on a bad one that’s easy.  You pretty much start waiving down your waiter mid meal and hit the eject button.  I know a lot of us though can stick around too long when things are going good.  We can look like a very promising future 2nd date one moment but then linger around and try to keep this perfect going.  Now we are annoying and that second date is now pretty much gone.  Know when to leave.  If you went out for dinner finish it off at dinner with an exchange of number so another date can be set.  As the great Dale Carnegie wrote, leave before they want you to leave.

 

  1. Respect their space: Don’t be clingy and touchy feely. Unless they initiate it be respectful of their space or you’ll turn into creep touchy feely guy.  If fined to offer your hand when she’s getting out of your car or going into a restaurant but don’t smother her.
Dating Tips

Why Summer Is The Best Time For Online Dating

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With longer, brighter days, rooftop happy hours, summer Fridays and more relaxed vibes in the office, there’s no doubt the hottest season of the year is prime time for online love. Though it’s a common belief that online dating has its peak at the start of the year, when folks start to consider their goals for the next 12 months, every seasonal shifts offers a new challenge to find love for singles.

As online dating expert and dating coach Julie Spira explains, “With every new season, there’s an uptick in usage for online daters and new members joining dating sites and apps.” But while all of the various times of year present opportunities to make and meet a match, Spira says the summer is extra sizzling though. So if you’re in the market to find love — or at least have a handful of steamy dates — here’s why you should go ahead and sign up and put your thumb to work ASAP:

1. People Are Happier In The Summer

Though it might be an attractive smile, gorgeous eyes or a fit body that grabs your attention, what will keep it is the personality that comes with it. And while not everyone suffers from seasonal depression, increased vitamin D and more time spent in the great outdoors, instead of watching the snow fall, makes for overall happier people. And while a sexy style is nice, someone who can laugh, let go and be fun to be around is a much bigger turn on. “With the longer hot days, hot summer fun is on the mind of many singles. Whether it’s a summer romance that goes from Memorial Day to Labor Day, or actually finding love online, a new season does represent new beginnings,” Spira says.

2. Update Your Profile To Be More Active

You might have spent the winter going on skiing trips, tubing down glacier mountains and creating crockpot concoctions (you go, dude) — but if you still have those icy photos on your profile? Spira says it’s time to start the editing process, ASAP. To attract a summer fling, you want to make sure your profile illustrates all of the outdoor adventures and activities that bring you joy during this season. Not only are active photos more likely to get swipes and engagement, but it shows off the kind of dates that you might propose to a new crush.

“I encourage single to have a digital facelift of their dating profiles in the summer. That includes new photos, updating your bio to include some of your favorite travel adventures or concerts, and refreshing to meet someone new,” she says. “Ditch the snow ski shots and replace them with water skiing if that’s your thing. If not, include a photo of flying a kite, taking a hike, anything that shows your interests outdoors.

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Dress & Grooming

How To Dress On A Date

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Let’s face it: Women love clothes. Why else are they constantly shopping and complimenting their girlfriends on that incredible new top or pair of pumps? And while you may be wondering, “What does this have to do with me?” I’ll tell you: More and more, women are expecting, even demanding, that the men they date look more like the “after” images on Queer Eye than the “before.” In other words, showing up at a swanky martini bar in your college hoodie and lucky sneakers may make that first date your last. But passing their scrutinizing standards isn’t as hard as you think; nor does it involve blowing your bank account on a whole new wardrobe. Just keep these simple tips from fashion experts in mind to show women you do indeed have a clue when it comes to style.

Tip #1: Whatever you do, don’t wear khakis
To many men, khakis may seem like the perfect first-date standby, being dressier than jeans but more casual than dress pants. But experts adamantly stress men should avoid khakis. “Khakis scream ‘casual workplace,’” explains Bruce Pask, style director of the men’s fashion magazine Cargo. “They just don’t seem sexy.” Jeans, on the other hand, are sexy—and perfectly acceptable these days in nearly any dating scenario (barring a really fancy restaurant with a dress code). Just be sure to stick to the basic dark pair of jeans—no matter how much you paid for the overly distressed, hole-y, “rumpled,” bleached, ripped, or torn ones.

Tip #2: Give the striped dress shirt a rest
When it comes to impressing a woman, standing out from the crowd can be key—and on that front, nothing kills your chances like a striped dress shirt. Look around at a bar or restaurant. Aren’t stripes everywhere? That’s why you’ll do much better with a shirt with a subtler pattern. “Open it up at the neck, and lose the tie, which can make a guy look choked up,” says Pask. A nice polo shirt is a more casual alternative, and also works well under a sport jacket. And last but not least, the shirt should be tucked in. “A shirt halfway in, halfway out is a big pet peeve of mine,” says Kelly Rae, fashion and grooming director of the men’s magazine Stuff. “I like a guy who knows to tuck it in.”

Tip #3: A little color goes a long way
Unless you’re heading out to meet a Goth chick, dressing all in black is a bit morose. “And don’t wear beige,” says Rae. “Neutral colors are boring.” On the other end of the

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Dating Tips

21 Impressive First Date Ideas That Will Bring You Two Closer

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First date is always important because it’s where you drop your first impression and most importantly, it plays a big role to determine whether or not this relationship will work out.

It’s just like choosing what to read. Let’s not talk about the book cover (I know, I know, Don’t just a book by its cover!) so now we all judge by how the story begins. No matter how amazing the storyline is, if the introduction failed to grab readers’ attention, no one is going to read it because no one likes to get their time wasted. Relationship works this way too.

If you need ideas to secure your first date and your own impression, You’ve come to the right place! When I first started dating, my idea of a date was the stereotypical cheap-dinner-and-a-movie. Don’t hate on me, I didn’t know any better! By the time I finished high school I was pretty comfortable in my own skin and got pretty good at coming up with ideas for dates. I’ve put together a list of some of my favorites as well as some suggested by friends. Enjoy!

Outdoor Adventures

  1. Go for a walk – This is such a simple first date idea but most shy away from it because they feel like they must do something complex in order for their date to be impressed. Wrong! The only ideas you need to impress your date with are the ones that you articulate as your conversation progresses. If you are an interesting person and have found a fun person to spend time with, rest assured that a walk about town will be just fine. Remember, the idea is to leave your date wanting more. As a warning, you may be tempted to start talking about previous relationships. Don’t. That’s not how to get over an ex. Rather, enjoying the company of a fun new person without dwelling on the past will serve you best!

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Dating Tips

The 14 Worst First Date Ideas Ever

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1. A slam poetry reading. There is a time and a place for slam poetry (in theory; in practice it is my personal idea of hell), and that is NOT when two people are just beginning to get to know each other. You’ll get to know a hell of a lot about the poets, since it’s a share-fest up in there.

2. Your amateur comedy show/rock concert/whatever. Baby Jesus, sweet baby Jesus in his swaddling cloth, please do not. Because, well, see #1, plus the added discomfort of you potentially sucking. Such a bad vibe for a date.

3. One of your friends’ birthday parties. I don’t know why anyone thinks taking someone to a birthday party on an early date is a good idea. Standing around making forced small talk with strangers while you’re semi-aware that everybody’s judging you is not a good time. ALSO, there is rarely cake at twentysomething bar birthday parties, so there’s not even that perk.

4. Da Club of any variety. This is where you meet dates, not where you bring them. You may as well sit down 2 feet from a construction site and try to have a yell-conversation there.

5. A fast food place. For a fourthmeal? Totally. For the main dinner? Not so much. Fluorescents flatter no one.

6. Your parents’ house. SLOW YOUR ROLL. This makes me think you are already auditioning wedding bands.

7. An exercise class. Not only do I kiiiind of feel like you’re going to judge me for being out of breath at times, but the gym is where I go to escape the obligation I feel to be cute all the time. Don’t ruin this for me.

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Dating Tips, Social Media

Top 5 Tinder Tips To Help You Get A Date

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There once was a time when using dating sites and apps was taboo, limited only to those without the balls to go meet people in person. That time is long behind us. If you’re single in 2015, you’re much more likely to get a sideways stare if you’re not using Tinder to meet dating prospects.

With well over one billion users in total – 10 million daily active users – and a soon approaching IPO, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful mobile apps to date. For singles, it allows users to scan through potential romantic interests on a mass scale.

In early 2014, I moved to a new city and used Tinder as an opportunity to meet new people. What’s more, I conducted an experiment and published my findings in a blog article, which proceeded to go massively viral. I embraced my sudden Internet fame, and continued to test with even more vigor. I published a book called TinderHacks, and have since helped hundreds of guys find success on Tinder.

It’s not rocket science, but a staggeringly large number of guys are struggling to get the results they desire. Unfortunately, many struggling men try one thing on Tinder, get no results, and decide Tinder doesn’t work for them. I promise you that Tinder works for everyone. You just need to put in the time to test and optimize your profile, based on your unique strengths and overall goals.

I want to help you showcase your best, most authentic self to potential matches on Tinder. These 5 Tinder tips will absolutely help you get more matches, messages, numbers, and dates.

Optimize Your Tinder Profile For More Matches

Call it shallow, or superficial, or whatever you will, but there is no denying Tinder is driven by appearances. Users judge each other instantly based on a picture, and feel no regrets or repercussions for swiping left (to pass).

Your first profile image is the only thing a potential match will see when swiping through a stack of potential matches. Only after they click on your photo will they see your bio or other images. Most of the time, that never happens (or doesn’t happen until they match with you). They judge you based on your first photo, and decide whether to swipe right or left. This is not a bad thing, though. In fact, you can use it to your benefit, as long as you understand the game.

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Dating Tips

The Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating A Colleague

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Since about a third of our time is spent at the office, it’s not surprising that romance can easily spark between colleagues.

At work, you’re often surrounded by bright, driven people who understand your work stress and worries at the office, so dating a colleague is actually pretty common, says career coach Barbara Pachter.

“[Work] is where people meet a lot of people. It’s either there or online dating,” Pachter, author of the book “The Essentials Of Business Etiquette,” tells Business Insider.

According to a Payscale office romance report, 15% of the 42,000 respondents said they would date someone they work with. And one out of five people who gave romance with a coworker a shot ended up marrying their colleague.

However, there are some basic rules to keep in mind when dating someone you work with. Below, Pachter tells us the most important do’s and don’ts you should follow.

Do follow your company’s policy.

Every organization is different. If you’re interested in a colleague, make sure you know your company’s policy, so that you don’t violate any corporate regulations.

You especially need to be aware if you’re required to come forward with your relationship. The last thing you want is for a love interest to have a negative impact on your career.

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Your Approach

How to Ask a Girl on a Date Over the Phone

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Asking a girl on a date can create nervous feelings, especially if you are very interested in dating her and you’re not sure if she feels the same. If you decide to ask her out over the phone, it is important to keep proper etiquette in mind so you create a positive and respectful impression. With so many current advances in communication technology, it can be easy to avoid making face-to face invitations or even speaking over the phone. Make the effort to be more persona to demonstrate that you’re confident and honestly interested in spending time with her.

Ask her for her phone number and arrange a time to call her. Planning a time to call her indicates that you want to talk further, and it will set a positive tone for the conversation. It can also create a sense of anticipation in the object of your affection.

Show your interest by asking questions. Talking on the phone can be challenging if you are just getting to know someone. Start the conversation by asking her how her day was or what she has been doing recently. This will help you create a natural flow of conversation. If you aren’t sure what to talk about, think up topics before you call so you aren’t scrambling for something during the conversation.

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Dating Tips

To Be Or Not To Be: Friends with Benefits

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We know the old song and dance. Being friends with benefits can either be an awesome arrangement or a ticking time bomb. The question is: do we want to take part?  Learn what to expect and know when to bow out. Most of all, lay down the ground rules with your friend right from the start. Do you want to be exclusive? How often can I call you over for Netflix and Chill? Can we binge Star Wars in the order I think is canon or is that too date-ish?

Let’s face it — There’s a lot less drama with your friends compared to with your significant other. It’s easy to be insecure with someone you want to date, which in turn results in tension. With a close friend, you know each other’s quirks and flaws, and you don’t have to keep appearances. Order the burger at that restaurant you love! Fart and blame the other person! Wear those comfy sweats instead of that new scratchy shirt! The rules of dates don’t apply here (within reason, of course).

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Your Approach

How To Successfully Approach A Beautiful Woman

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Ever find yourself dying to approach a beautiful woman you saw somewhere but you didn’t have the slightest clue how to do it — let alone the nerve to even try? If so, I can guarantee you this: Just the thought of trying makes your heart race and palms sweat. But guess what — it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are the top 10 ways to guarantee a successful approach every time.

Plain and simple: Your fear of rejection is your worst enemy — yet it usually just doesn’t happen. The fact is, a beautiful woman won’t scream and run away from you. She won’t point you out to her friends and laugh. She won’t turn into a monster from hell and cut you down.

The truth is, most attractive women will respond somewhere between neutral and positive to being approached because you’re doing something that makes them feel good. It’s flattering, exciting and fun, and for that reason alone you’ll almost never see a woman respond by getting upset, being rude or acting offended. So stop worrying about it, and stop letting fear of rejection ruin your chances before you even try.

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