Category Archives: Dating Tips

Save Your Money And Don’t Buy Her That Drink….Yet

I was chatting with a girl friend of mine about the challenges of dating.  Always great insight getting her perspective on the approaches that work and those that don’t.  One of the approaches that has been around for a long time is the “Buy Her a Drink” approach.  Basically you are using the drink to break the ice with a girl you have never met before.  Many a guy have used this technique.  Not sure what the success rate is but many of my friends swear by this method.

Well, according to my lady friend she completely disagrees with that approach.  She gave me 3 reasons that make a lot of sense.

  1.  When you buy her a drink in exchange for a conversation it now becomes a transaction.  Now she must make a decision.  Quickly reject the offer because she doesn’t know you or what you could have put in that drink, take the free drink and feel obligated to chat with you or take the free drink and after a few minutes make an excuse to get out of the conversation and enjoy her free drink with her friends.
  2. Another one of her reasons is that it makes you look desperate.  “Can’t you hold a conversation with me without trying to get me drunk?”  Trust me cute girls are facing this approach all the time.  They know the intent and it’s no secret what you are trying to get out of it.
  3. You’ll save money.  For those girls that go up to you and ask you to buy them a drink.  They have one purpose in mind.  To have a great time getting drinks on your dime with no intent on going home with you.  They know there are suckers all over the club or bar that will offer up drinks.  They’ll even get these guys to not only buy them drinks but even their friends.  Before you know it you’ll have to take out a loan to pay off that tab.

In the end her advice is to be confident and realize you have a lot to offer.  Approach girls genuinely looking to get to know them and you’ll have as much success as you would have with the buying drink approach but with more money in your wallet.  If the conversation is going well and she sticks around then you can be a gentleman and ask her what’s she’s drinking and pay for her next one.

Be Careful With First Date Drinking

Break Up Advice for Men with Trouble Letting Go

A lot of the break up advice for men out there focuses on how to move on from a relationship and find a new girl. But before you start dating after a break up, it’s important to first create a life where you are happy and fulfilled independent of your relationship status. To reach that point, be sure to follow the tips below on how to move on from a break up.

Move on from a break up by keeping active
When getting over a break up you’re going to have periods where you feel down and out. One of the most effective ways of breaking the cycle of depression that comes when getting over a break up is to stay active and exercise. Not only will exercise release endorphins in your brain (which puts you in a good mood) but that feeling of accomplishment that comes after a tough workout (and the results you’ll see as your body) will help you build confidence. This daily boost in mood and confidence will be huge in helping you get over a break up.

So when figuring out how to get over a break up, an important thing to focus on is committing about an hour a day to some form of exercise (running, biking, weight lifting, basketball – whatever you enjoy). When possible, exercise in the morning. That will set a positive tone for the day which is going to make it easier to move on after a break up.

Get over an ex-girlfriend (by refocusing your energy)
When dealing with a break up you’re going to find you have a lot more free time than before. Instead of filling that time with passive activities like watching TV or surfing the web (which will only make you more depressed) use that free time as a chance to grow as a man. Move on from your ex-girlfriend and focus your time and energy on something positive – like learning a new skill or exploring a hobby. Not only will the activity itself help you feel better, but looking back on all the progress you’ve made will build confidence – which again is critical when getting over a break up.

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Things You Should Never Say to a Woman on a First Date

Yes, she’s smart, funny, attractive and single. You feel that it’s time, five minutes into the date, to say something that the logical side of your brain isn’t so sure about.

Stop talking.

Stop talking.

Seriously, stop making words. You want to stand out. You’ve had some alcohol. You end up trying to casually mention your bank account or workout routine. You don’t succeed because that approach never succeeds.

“You fear she won’t know how great you are unless you tell her repeatedly,” says Ann Demarais, Ph.D., psychologist and co-author of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You. “But you become self-focused, and the pure nerves make you less articulate and thoughtful than you usually are.”

It’s all right to be confident and direct. It’s also good to be relaxed and the kind of guy who puts the focus on her. But if you want to start getting more second dates, a solid place to start is by simply not saying stupid things on the first.

It sounds easy, but many of your past and present brethren have failed that challenge.

Not sure what qualifies as stupid? Take a look at these and then start a new tradition with some addition by subtraction.

1. “I like to take my sweet time with everything. Everything.”

Easy, love doctor. You make it sound as if she’s been orgasmless and only you can end the drought. You may think you’re being smooth and original, but you’re not. Best to remain silent.

2. “According to Facebook, you had some fun last weekend.”

Say nothing about your online discoveries until she shares. Then it’s okay: “I saw your work. Nice about the Nobel.”

She’ll feel that she was worth being checked out by a guy who doesn’t prejudge.

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5 Tips To Have A Good First Date

For a lot of us geeks and nerds it can be nerve raking talking to girls.  Asking a girl out on a date even worse.  However, if we are able to muster the courage to actually ask somebody out we have to stay out of our own way just so we don’t screw it up.    Here are 5 tips to help you in your journey and challenge of that first date.


  1. Ask questions: If you aren’t 100% familiar with your date and are nervous.  Ask questions.  This solves two issues.  You will find out more and more about your date and can lead to even more topics and you avoid that dreaded awkward silence.  Now you don’t want to fire one question after another.  Truly listen and be interested in learning about them.  Oh, don’t mess with political or religious questions because things could get ugly.


  1. Don’t try so hard: So many times we make the mistake of trying to make everything perfect. Trying to be charming and funny and deep.  Don’t! Be the best version of you that you can be but at the end of the day you still need to be you.  After all if it does work out they’ll find out eventually.


  1. Have Fun: Enjoy yourself and relax.  If you think of worst case scenario the date goes bad and you don’t go out again.  Who cares.  The point of those first dates is trying to find that person you fit with.  I know we can get down when it doesn’t go well but at the end of the day you have to keep meeting girls and keep asking them out to find that good match that you’d like to continue to see.  So while on these dates enjoy yourself.  Go to places that you enjoy going to.  Doesn’t have to be dinner.  Sport events like baseball are great because you can hang out.  However if the game is long and date is bad you may need to click the eject button before the 7th inning stretch.


  1. Know when to leave: This goes for good and bad dates.  If you are on a bad one that’s easy.  You pretty much start waiving down your waiter mid meal and hit the eject button.  I know a lot of us though can stick around too long when things are going good.  We can look like a very promising future 2nd date one moment but then linger around and try to keep this perfect going.  Now we are annoying and that second date is now pretty much gone.  Know when to leave.  If you went out for dinner finish it off at dinner with an exchange of number so another date can be set.  As the great Dale Carnegie wrote, leave before they want you to leave.


  1. Respect their space: Don’t be clingy and touchy feely. Unless they initiate it be respectful of their space or you’ll turn into creep touchy feely guy.  If fined to offer your hand when she’s getting out of your car or going into a restaurant but don’t smother her.

Why Summer Is The Best Time For Online Dating

With longer, brighter days, rooftop happy hours, summer Fridays and more relaxed vibes in the office, there’s no doubt the hottest season of the year is prime time for online love. Though it’s a common belief that online dating has its peak at the start of the year, when folks start to consider their goals for the next 12 months, every seasonal shifts offers a new challenge to find love for singles.

As online dating expert and dating coach Julie Spira explains, “With every new season, there’s an uptick in usage for online daters and new members joining dating sites and apps.” But while all of the various times of year present opportunities to make and meet a match, Spira says the summer is extra sizzling though. So if you’re in the market to find love — or at least have a handful of steamy dates — here’s why you should go ahead and sign up and put your thumb to work ASAP:

1. People Are Happier In The Summer

Though it might be an attractive smile, gorgeous eyes or a fit body that grabs your attention, what will keep it is the personality that comes with it. And while not everyone suffers from seasonal depression, increased vitamin D and more time spent in the great outdoors, instead of watching the snow fall, makes for overall happier people. And while a sexy style is nice, someone who can laugh, let go and be fun to be around is a much bigger turn on. “With the longer hot days, hot summer fun is on the mind of many singles. Whether it’s a summer romance that goes from Memorial Day to Labor Day, or actually finding love online, a new season does represent new beginnings,” Spira says.

2. Update Your Profile To Be More Active

You might have spent the winter going on skiing trips, tubing down glacier mountains and creating crockpot concoctions (you go, dude) — but if you still have those icy photos on your profile? Spira says it’s time to start the editing process, ASAP. To attract a summer fling, you want to make sure your profile illustrates all of the outdoor adventures and activities that bring you joy during this season. Not only are active photos more likely to get swipes and engagement, but it shows off the kind of dates that you might propose to a new crush.

“I encourage single to have a digital facelift of their dating profiles in the summer. That includes new photos, updating your bio to include some of your favorite travel adventures or concerts, and refreshing to meet someone new,” she says. “Ditch the snow ski shots and replace them with water skiing if that’s your thing. If not, include a photo of flying a kite, taking a hike, anything that shows your interests outdoors.

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21 Impressive First Date Ideas That Will Bring You Two Closer

First date is always important because it’s where you drop your first impression and most importantly, it plays a big role to determine whether or not this relationship will work out.

It’s just like choosing what to read. Let’s not talk about the book cover (I know, I know, Don’t just a book by its cover!) so now we all judge by how the story begins. No matter how amazing the storyline is, if the introduction failed to grab readers’ attention, no one is going to read it because no one likes to get their time wasted. Relationship works this way too.

If you need ideas to secure your first date and your own impression, You’ve come to the right place! When I first started dating, my idea of a date was the stereotypical cheap-dinner-and-a-movie. Don’t hate on me, I didn’t know any better! By the time I finished high school I was pretty comfortable in my own skin and got pretty good at coming up with ideas for dates. I’ve put together a list of some of my favorites as well as some suggested by friends. Enjoy!

Outdoor Adventures

  1. Go for a walk – This is such a simple first date idea but most shy away from it because they feel like they must do something complex in order for their date to be impressed. Wrong! The only ideas you need to impress your date with are the ones that you articulate as your conversation progresses. If you are an interesting person and have found a fun person to spend time with, rest assured that a walk about town will be just fine. Remember, the idea is to leave your date wanting more. As a warning, you may be tempted to start talking about previous relationships. Don’t. That’s not how to get over an ex. Rather, enjoying the company of a fun new person without dwelling on the past will serve you best!

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The 14 Worst First Date Ideas Ever

1. A slam poetry reading. There is a time and a place for slam poetry (in theory; in practice it is my personal idea of hell), and that is NOT when two people are just beginning to get to know each other. You’ll get to know a hell of a lot about the poets, since it’s a share-fest up in there.

2. Your amateur comedy show/rock concert/whatever. Baby Jesus, sweet baby Jesus in his swaddling cloth, please do not. Because, well, see #1, plus the added discomfort of you potentially sucking. Such a bad vibe for a date.

3. One of your friends’ birthday parties. I don’t know why anyone thinks taking someone to a birthday party on an early date is a good idea. Standing around making forced small talk with strangers while you’re semi-aware that everybody’s judging you is not a good time. ALSO, there is rarely cake at twentysomething bar birthday parties, so there’s not even that perk.

4. Da Club of any variety. This is where you meet dates, not where you bring them. You may as well sit down 2 feet from a construction site and try to have a yell-conversation there.

5. A fast food place. For a fourthmeal? Totally. For the main dinner? Not so much. Fluorescents flatter no one.

6. Your parents’ house. SLOW YOUR ROLL. This makes me think you are already auditioning wedding bands.

7. An exercise class. Not only do I kiiiind of feel like you’re going to judge me for being out of breath at times, but the gym is where I go to escape the obligation I feel to be cute all the time. Don’t ruin this for me.

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Top 5 Tinder Tips To Help You Get A Date

There once was a time when using dating sites and apps was taboo, limited only to those without the balls to go meet people in person. That time is long behind us. If you’re single in 2015, you’re much more likely to get a sideways stare if you’re not using Tinder to meet dating prospects.

With well over one billion users in total – 10 million daily active users – and a soon approaching IPO, Tinder is one of the most popular and successful mobile apps to date. For singles, it allows users to scan through potential romantic interests on a mass scale.

In early 2014, I moved to a new city and used Tinder as an opportunity to meet new people. What’s more, I conducted an experiment and published my findings in a blog article, which proceeded to go massively viral. I embraced my sudden Internet fame, and continued to test with even more vigor. I published a book called TinderHacks, and have since helped hundreds of guys find success on Tinder.

It’s not rocket science, but a staggeringly large number of guys are struggling to get the results they desire. Unfortunately, many struggling men try one thing on Tinder, get no results, and decide Tinder doesn’t work for them. I promise you that Tinder works for everyone. You just need to put in the time to test and optimize your profile, based on your unique strengths and overall goals.

I want to help you showcase your best, most authentic self to potential matches on Tinder. These 5 Tinder tips will absolutely help you get more matches, messages, numbers, and dates.

Optimize Your Tinder Profile For More Matches

Call it shallow, or superficial, or whatever you will, but there is no denying Tinder is driven by appearances. Users judge each other instantly based on a picture, and feel no regrets or repercussions for swiping left (to pass).

Your first profile image is the only thing a potential match will see when swiping through a stack of potential matches. Only after they click on your photo will they see your bio or other images. Most of the time, that never happens (or doesn’t happen until they match with you). They judge you based on your first photo, and decide whether to swipe right or left. This is not a bad thing, though. In fact, you can use it to your benefit, as long as you understand the game.

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The Do’s And Don’ts Of Dating A Colleague

Since about a third of our time is spent at the office, it’s not surprising that romance can easily spark between colleagues.

At work, you’re often surrounded by bright, driven people who understand your work stress and worries at the office, so dating a colleague is actually pretty common, says career coach Barbara Pachter.

“[Work] is where people meet a lot of people. It’s either there or online dating,” Pachter, author of the book “The Essentials Of Business Etiquette,” tells Business Insider.

According to a Payscale office romance report, 15% of the 42,000 respondents said they would date someone they work with. And one out of five people who gave romance with a coworker a shot ended up marrying their colleague.

However, there are some basic rules to keep in mind when dating someone you work with. Below, Pachter tells us the most important do’s and don’ts you should follow.

Do follow your company’s policy.

Every organization is different. If you’re interested in a colleague, make sure you know your company’s policy, so that you don’t violate any corporate regulations.

You especially need to be aware if you’re required to come forward with your relationship. The last thing you want is for a love interest to have a negative impact on your career.

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