Category Archives: Your Approach

Save Your Money And Don’t Buy Her That Drink….Yet

I was chatting with a girl friend of mine about the challenges of dating.  Always great insight getting her perspective on the approaches that work and those that don’t.  One of the approaches that has been around for a long time is the “Buy Her a Drink” approach.  Basically you are using the drink to break the ice with a girl you have never met before.  Many a guy have used this technique.  Not sure what the success rate is but many of my friends swear by this method.

Well, according to my lady friend she completely disagrees with that approach.  She gave me 3 reasons that make a lot of sense.

  1.  When you buy her a drink in exchange for a conversation it now becomes a transaction.  Now she must make a decision.  Quickly reject the offer because she doesn’t know you or what you could have put in that drink, take the free drink and feel obligated to chat with you or take the free drink and after a few minutes make an excuse to get out of the conversation and enjoy her free drink with her friends.
  2. Another one of her reasons is that it makes you look desperate.  “Can’t you hold a conversation with me without trying to get me drunk?”  Trust me cute girls are facing this approach all the time.  They know the intent and it’s no secret what you are trying to get out of it.
  3. You’ll save money.  For those girls that go up to you and ask you to buy them a drink.  They have one purpose in mind.  To have a great time getting drinks on your dime with no intent on going home with you.  They know there are suckers all over the club or bar that will offer up drinks.  They’ll even get these guys to not only buy them drinks but even their friends.  Before you know it you’ll have to take out a loan to pay off that tab.

In the end her advice is to be confident and realize you have a lot to offer.  Approach girls genuinely looking to get to know them and you’ll have as much success as you would have with the buying drink approach but with more money in your wallet.  If the conversation is going well and she sticks around then you can be a gentleman and ask her what’s she’s drinking and pay for her next one.

Pick Up Tips from Your Server

After witnessing countless nervous couples meet, fall in love and return to celebrate their anniversaries, your server’s got a lot more to offer than the daily specials! Read on…

Need some advice from the front lines of the dating world? Talk to your server. Day in and day out, they’re the ones who overhear the awkward conversations and see the hopeful come-hither looks from behind the appetizer menu. Think your waitress doesn’t know you’re on a date? Think again. The wait staff absolutely does know, and they have a lot to say about it. Check out this excellent pick-up and dating advice from waiters and waitresses:

Choose your target wisely.
“Know your level,” says Charles Drengberg, co-founder of “If you’re a newly divorced 50-year-old man who’s kind of out of shape and drives a Toyota, don’t bother hitting on the 23-year-old bombshell wearing the Louboutins. Hit on the 35-year-old divorcee with a bit of spilled margarita on her blouse buying the shots for her friend’s bachelorette party instead.”

Treat your server well.
“I see a lot of dates come into my restaurant, and one thing I would suggest to men is to treat their servers well,” advises Darron Cardosa, a waiter in New York City and the voice behind The Bitchy Waiter. “I am not saying that because I want a better tip; I’m saying it because I feel that women pay close attention to how their date treats other people,” Cardosa explains. “I work in a small neighborhood restaurant. One woman who is a regular often uses our restaurant as a first-date spot for men she has met on dating websites. When he goes to the bathroom, she will call me over and ask me what I think.”

Look into the object of your affection’s eyes.
“Wait for meaningful eye contact and a smile,” advises Drengberg. “If a girl is avoiding eye contact with you, it’s because she’s not into you. It’s not because she’s being coy. Don’t creep up on girls like a Black Ops paratrooper. Wait for a woman to give you a reason to talk to her.”

Head to the bar, not the bistro.
“Meeting a partner in a restaurant is a much more difficult proposition than it is in a bar,” says Gregg Rottler, founder of “In restaurants, diners are isolated [while seated at] their tables, making introductions challenging. Slowly sauntering by someone’s table looking for the telltale ring on a finger can easily prove unsuccessful, since hands are often concealed underneath the table.”

Ask questions.
“I would tell men not to talk too much about themselves,” says Cardosa. “It’s so clear when a woman’s turned off by her date because he’s talking about his interests non-stop. Ask her questions about what she likes! Everyone likes to talk about themselves, but we only want to do it if we think the other person is interested.”

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How to Ask a Girl on a Date Over the Phone

Asking a girl on a date can create nervous feelings, especially if you are very interested in dating her and you’re not sure if she feels the same. If you decide to ask her out over the phone, it is important to keep proper etiquette in mind so you create a positive and respectful impression. With so many current advances in communication technology, it can be easy to avoid making face-to face invitations or even speaking over the phone. Make the effort to be more persona to demonstrate that you’re confident and honestly interested in spending time with her.

Ask her for her phone number and arrange a time to call her. Planning a time to call her indicates that you want to talk further, and it will set a positive tone for the conversation. It can also create a sense of anticipation in the object of your affection.

Show your interest by asking questions. Talking on the phone can be challenging if you are just getting to know someone. Start the conversation by asking her how her day was or what she has been doing recently. This will help you create a natural flow of conversation. If you aren’t sure what to talk about, think up topics before you call so you aren’t scrambling for something during the conversation.

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How To Successfully Approach A Beautiful Woman

Ever find yourself dying to approach a beautiful woman you saw somewhere but you didn’t have the slightest clue how to do it — let alone the nerve to even try? If so, I can guarantee you this: Just the thought of trying makes your heart race and palms sweat. But guess what — it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are the top 10 ways to guarantee a successful approach every time.

Plain and simple: Your fear of rejection is your worst enemy — yet it usually just doesn’t happen. The fact is, a beautiful woman won’t scream and run away from you. She won’t point you out to her friends and laugh. She won’t turn into a monster from hell and cut you down.

The truth is, most attractive women will respond somewhere between neutral and positive to being approached because you’re doing something that makes them feel good. It’s flattering, exciting and fun, and for that reason alone you’ll almost never see a woman respond by getting upset, being rude or acting offended. So stop worrying about it, and stop letting fear of rejection ruin your chances before you even try.

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Subtle Flirting

Pity the guy with the cheesy opening line and the leering grin, the one who talks to a woman’s breasts instead of her face. Coming on too strong can send a woman running off in disgust or amusement. Master the art of subtle flirting, though, and you can be a winner in the dating and mating game.


Flirting is partially hard-wired, determined by biology; partially cultural, something that is learned; and partially a consciously chosen act. Flirting sends a signal that you are sexually interested in someone. At the same time, flirting lets you test the other person to see if the interest is mutual. When two people flirt, they begin to get to know each other, revealing things about themselves while finding out more about each other. Subtle flirting keeps the getting-to-know-you process moving at a comfortable pace, not too fast.


Many instinctive flirtatious movements and postures convey the message that you are not going to harm the other person. This is a subtle, non-verbal type of communication that is attractive on a deep, instinctive level. A body posture that is open and unguarded sends the message that you are neither going to attack nor flee. Placing your hands palms up on your knees, thighs or on a table sends the same message.

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